Guilty!

: The Crack Of Doom

As to protecting Natalie Brande from her brother and the fanatics with

whom he associated, it was now plain that I was powerless. And what

guarantee had I that she herself was unaware of his nefarious purpose;

that she did not sympathise with it? This last thought flashed upon me

one day, and the sting of pain that followed it was so intolerable, I

determined instantly to prove its falsity or truth.



I tel
graphed to Brande that I was running down to spend a day or two

with him, and followed my message without waiting for a reply. I have

still a very distinct recollection of that journey, notwithstanding much

that might well have blotted it from my memory. Every mile sped over

seemed to mark one more barrier passed on my way to some strange fate;

every moment which brought me nearer this incomprehensible girl with

her magical eyes was an epoch of impossibility against my ever

voluntarily turning back. And now that it is all over, I am glad that I

went on steadfastly to the end.



Brande received me with the easy affability of a man to whom good

breeding had ceased to be a habit, and had become an instinct. Only once

did anything pass between us bearing on the extraordinary relationship

which he had established with me--the relation of victor and victim, I

considered it. We had been left together for a few moments, and I said

as soon as the others were out of hearing distance:



"I got your message."



"I know you did," he replied. That was all. There was an awkward pause.

It must be broken somehow. Any way out of the difficulty was better than

to continue in it.



"Have you seen this?" I asked, handing Brande a copy of a novel which I

had picked up at a railway bookstall. When I say that it was new and

popular, it will be understood that it was indecent.



He looked at the title, and said indifferently: "Yes, I have seen it,

and in order to appreciate this class of fiction fairly, I have even

tried to read it. Why do you ask?"



"Because I thought it would be in your line. It is very advanced." I

said this to gain time.



"Advanced--advanced? I am afraid I do not comprehend. What do you mean

by 'advanced'? And how could it be in my line. I presume you mean by

that, on my plane of thought?"



"By 'advanced,' I mean up-to-date. What do you mean by it?"



"If I used the word at all, I should mean educated, evolved. Is this

evolved? Is it even educated? It is not always grammatical. It has no

style. In motive, it ante-dates Boccaccio."



"You disapprove of it."



"Certainly not."



"Then you approve it, notwithstanding your immediate condemnation?"



"By no means. I neither approve nor disapprove. It only represents a

phase of humanity--the deliberate purpose of securing money or notoriety

to the individual, regardless of the welfare of the community. There is

nothing to admire in that. It would be invidious to blame it when the

whole social scheme is equally wrong and contemptible. By the way, what

interest do you think the wares of any literary pander, of either sex,

could possess for me, a student--even if a mistaken one--of science?"



"I did not think the book would possess the slightest interest for you,

and I suppose you are already aware of that?"



"Ah no! My telepathic power is reserved for more serious purposes. Its

exercise costs me too much to expend it on trifles. In consequence I do

not know why you mentioned the book."



To this I answered candidly, "I mentioned it in order to get myself out

of a conversational difficulty--without much success."



Natalie was reserved with me at first. She devoted herself unnecessarily

to a boy named Halley who was staying with them. Grey had gone to

London. His place was taken by a Mr. Rockingham, whom I did not like.

There was something sinister in his expression, and he rarely spoke save

to say something cynical, and in consequence disagreeable. He had "seen

life," that is, everything deleterious to and destructive of it. His

connection with Brande was clearly a rebound, the rebound of disgust.

There was nothing creditable to him in that. My first impression of him

was thus unfavourable. My last recollection of him is a fitting item in

the nightmare which contains it.



The youth Halley would have interested me under ordinary circumstances.

His face was as handsome and refined as that of a pretty girl. His

figure, too, was slight and his voice effeminate. But there my own

advantage, as I deemed it, over him ceased. Intellectually, he was a

pupil of Brande's who did his master credit. Having made this discovery

I did not pursue it. My mind was fixed too fast upon a definite issue to

be more than temporarily interested in the epigrams of a peachy-cheeked

man of science.



The afternoon was well advanced before I had an opportunity of speaking

to Natalie. When it came, I did not stop to puzzle over a choice of

phrases.



"I wish to speak to you alone on a subject of extreme importance to me,"

I said hurriedly. "Will you come with me to the sea-shore? Your time, I

know, is fully occupied. I would not ask this if my happiness did not

depend upon it."



The philosopher looked on me with grave, kind eyes. But the woman's

heart within her sent the red blood flaming to her cheeks. It was then

given to me to fathom the lowest depth of boorish stupidity I had ever

sounded.



"I don't mean that," I cried, "I would not dare--"



The blush on her cheek burnt deeper as she tossed her head proudly back,

and said straight out, without any show of fence or shadow of

concealment:



"It was my mistake. I am glad to know that I did you an injustice. You

are my friend, are you not?"



"I believe I have the right to claim that title," I answered.



"Then what you ask is granted. Come." She put her hand boldly into mine.

I grasped the slender fingers, saying:



"Yes, Natalie, some day I will prove to you that I am your friend."



"The proof is unnecessary," she replied, in a low sad voice.



We started for the sea. Not a word was spoken on the way. Nor did our

eyes meet. We were in a strange position. It was this: the man who had

vowed he was the woman's friend--who did not intend to shirk the proof

of his promise, and never did gainsay it--meant to ask the woman,

before the day was over, to clear herself of knowingly associating with

a gang of scientific murderers. The woman had vaguely divined his

purpose, and could not clear herself.



When we arrived at the shore we occupied ourselves inconsequently. We

hunted little fishes until Natalie's dainty boots were dripping. We

examined quaint denizens of the shallow water until her gloves were

spoilt. We sprang from rock to rock and evaded the onrush of the foaming

waves. We made aqueducts for inter-communication between deep pools. We

basked in the sunshine, and listened to the deep moan of the sounding

sea, and the solemn murmur of the shells. We drank in the deep breath of

the ocean, and for a brief space we were like happy children.



The end came soon to this ephemeral happiness. It was only one of those

bright coins snatched from the niggard hand of Time which must always be

paid back with usurious charges. We paid with cruel interest.



Standing on a flat rock side by side, I nerved myself to ask this girl

the same question I had asked her friend, Edith Metford, how much she

knew of the extraordinary and preposterous Society--as I still tried to

consider it--which Herbert Brande had founded. She looked so frank, so

refined, so kind, I hardly dared to put my brutal question to an

innocent girl, whom I had seen wince at the suffering of a maimed bird,

and pale to the lips at the death-cry of a rabbit. This time there was

no possibility of untoward consequence in the question save to

myself--for surely the girl was safe from her own brother. And I myself

preferred to risk the consequences rather than endure longer the thought

that she belonged voluntarily to a vile murder club. Yet the question

would not come. A simple thing brought it out. Natalie, after looking

seaward silently for some minutes, said simply:



"How long are we to stand here, I wonder?"



"Until you answer this question. How much do you know about your

brother's Society, which I have joined to my own intense regret?"



"I am sorry you regret having joined," she replied gravely.



"You would not be sorry," said I, "if you knew as much about it as I

do," forgetting that I had still no answer to my question, and that the

extent of her knowledge was unknown to me.



"I believe I do know as much as you." There was a tremor in her voice

and an anxious pleading look in her eyes. This look maddened me. Why

should she plead to me unless she was guilty? I stamped my foot upon the

rock without noticing that in so doing I kicked our whole collection of

shells into the water.



There was something more to ask, but I stood silent and sullen. The

woods above the beach were choral with bird-voices. They were hateful to

me. The sea song of the tumbling waves was hideous. I cursed the yellow

sunset light glaring on their snowy crests. A tiny hand was laid upon my

arm. I writhed under its deadly if delicious touch. But I could not put

it away, nor keep from turning to the sweet face beside me, to mark once

more its mute appeal--now more than mere appeal; it was supplication

that was in her eyes. Her red lips were parted as though they voiced an

unspoken prayer. At last a prayer did pass from them to me.



"Do not judge me until you know me better. Do not hate me without cause.

I am not wicked, as you think. I--I--I am trying to do what I think is

right. At least, I am not selfish or cruel. Trust me yet a little

while."



I looked at her one moment, and then with a sob I clasped her in my

arms, and cried aloud:



"My God! to name murder and that angel face in one breath! Child, you

have been befooled. You know nothing."



For a second she lingered in my embrace. Then she gently put away my

arms, and looking up at me, said fearlessly but sorrowfully:



"I cannot lie--even for your love. I know all."



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