Star Mother

: The Servant Problem

A touching story of the most

enduring love in all eternity.



That night her son was the first star.



She stood motionless in the garden, one hand pressed against her heart,

watching him rise above the fields where he had played as a boy, where

he had worked as a young man; and she wondered whether he was thinking

of those fields now, whether he was thinking of her standing alone in
/>
the April night with her memories; whether he was thinking of the

verandahed house behind her, with its empty rooms and silent halls, that

once upon a time had been his birthplace.



Higher still and higher he rose in the southern sky, and then, when he

had reached his zenith, he dropped swiftly down past the dark edge of

the Earth and disappeared from sight. A boy grown up too soon, riding

round and round the world on a celestial carousel, encased in an

airtight metal capsule in an airtight metal chariot ...



Why don't they leave the stars alone? she thought. Why don't they

leave the stars to God?



* * * * *



The general's second telegram came early the next morning: Explorer XII

doing splendidly. Expect to bring your son down sometime tomorrow.



She went about her work as usual, collecting the eggs and allocating

them in their cardboard boxes, then setting off in the station wagon on

her Tuesday morning run. She had expected a deluge of questions from her

customers. She was not disappointed. "Is Terry really way up there all

alone, Martha?" "Aren't you scared, Martha?" "I do hope they can get

him back down all right, Martha." She supposed it must have given them

quite a turn to have their egg woman change into a star mother

overnight.



She hadn't expected the TV interview, though, and she would have avoided

it if it had been politely possible. But what could she do when the line

of cars and trucks pulled into the drive and the technicians got out and

started setting up their equipment in the backyard? What could she say

when the suave young man came up to her and said, "We want you to know

that we're all very proud of your boy up there, ma'am, and we hope

you'll do us the honor of answering a few questions."



Most of the questions concerned Terry, as was fitting. From the way the

suave young man asked them, though, she got the impression that he was

trying to prove that her son was just like any other average American

boy, and such just didn't happen to be the case. But whenever she opened

her mouth to mention, say, how he used to study till all hours of the

night, or how difficult it had been for him to make friends because of

his shyness, or the fact that he had never gone out for

football--whenever she started to mention any of these things, the suave

young man was in great haste to interrupt her and to twist her words, by

requestioning, into a different meaning altogether, till Terry's

behavior pattern seemed to coincide with the behavior pattern which the

suave young man apparently considered the norm, but which, if followed,

Martha was sure, would produce not young men bent on exploring space but

young men bent on exploring trivia.



A few of the questions concerned herself: Was Terry her only child?

("Yes.") What had happened to her husband? ("He was killed in the Korean

War.") What did she think of the new law granting star mothers top

priority on any and all information relating to their sons? ("I think

it's a fine law ... It's too bad they couldn't have shown similar

humanity toward the war mothers of World War II.")



* * * * *



It was late in the afternoon by the time the TV crew got everything

repacked into their cars and trucks and made their departure. Martha

fixed herself a light supper, then donned an old suede jacket of Terry's

and went out into the garden to wait for the sun to go down. According

to the time table the general had outlined in his first telegram,

Terry's first Tuesday night passage wasn't due to occur till 9:05. But

it seemed only right that she should be outside when the stars started

to come out. Presently they did, and she watched them wink on, one by

one, in the deepening darkness of the sky. She'd never been much of a

one for the stars; most of her life she'd been much too busy on Earth to

bother with things celestial. She could remember, when she was much

younger and Bill was courting her, looking up at the moon sometimes; and

once in a while, when a star fell, making a wish. But this was

different. It was different because now she had a personal interest in

the sky, a new affinity with its myriad inhabitants.



And how bright they became when you kept looking at them! They seemed to

come alive, almost, pulsing brilliantly down out of the blackness of the

night ... And they were different colors, too, she noticed with a start.

Some of them were blue and some were red, others were yellow ... green

... orange ...



It grew cold in the April garden and she could see her breath. There was

a strange crispness, a strange clarity about the night, that she had

never known before ... She glanced at her watch, was astonished to see

that the hands indicated two minutes after nine. Where had the time

gone? Tremulously she faced the southern horizon ... and saw her Terry

appear in his shining chariot, riding up the star-pebbled path of his

orbit, a star in his own right, dropping swiftly now, down, down, and

out of sight beyond the dark wheeling mass of the Earth ... She took a

deep, proud breath, realized that she was wildly waving her hand and let

it fall slowly to her side. Make a wish! she thought, like a little

girl, and she wished him pleasant dreams and a safe return and wrapped

the wish in all her love and cast it starward.



* * * * *



Sometime tomorrow, the general's telegram had said--



That meant sometime today!



She rose with the sun and fed the chickens, fixed and ate her breakfast,

collected the eggs and put them in their cardboard boxes, then started

out on her Wednesday morning run. "My land, Martha, I don't see how you

stand it with him way up there! Doesn't it get on your nerves?" ("Yes

... Yes, it does.") "Martha, when are they bringing him back down?"

("Today ... Today!") "It must be wonderful being a star mother,

Martha." ("Yes, it is--in a way.")



Wonderful ... and terrible.



If only he can last it out for a few more hours, she thought. If only

they can bring him down safe and sound. Then the vigil will be over, and

some other mother can take over the awesome responsibility of having a

son become a star--



If only ...



* * * * *



The general's third telegram arrived that afternoon: Regret to inform

you that meteorite impact on satellite hull severely damaged

capsule-detachment mechanism, making ejection impossible. Will make

every effort to find another means of accomplishing your son's return.



Terry!--



See the little boy playing beneath the maple tree, moving his tiny cars

up and down the tiny streets of his make-believe village; the little

boy, his fuzz of hair gold in the sunlight, his cherub-cheeks pink in

the summer wind--



Terry!--



Up the lane the blue-denimed young man walks, swinging his thin tanned

arms, his long legs making near-grownup strides over the sun-seared

grass; the sky blue and bright behind him, the song of cicada rising and

falling in the hazy September air--



Terry ...



--probably won't get a chance to write you again before take-off, but

don't worry, Ma. The Explorer XII is the greatest bird they ever

built. Nothing short of a direct meteorite hit can hurt it, and the odds

are a million to one ...



Why don't they leave the stars alone? Why don't they leave the stars to

God?



* * * * *



The afternoon shadows lengthened on the lawn and the sun grew red and

swollen over the western hills. Martha fixed supper, tried to eat, and

couldn't. After a while, when the light began to fade, she slipped into

Terry's jacket and went outside.



Slowly the sky darkened and the stars began to appear. At length her

star appeared, but its swift passage blurred before her eyes. Tires

crunched on the gravel then, and headlights washed the darkness from the

drive. A car door slammed.



Martha did not move. Please God, she thought, let it be Terry, even

though she knew that it couldn't possibly be Terry. Footsteps sounded

behind her, paused. Someone coughed softly. She turned then--



"Good evening, ma'am."



She saw the circlet of stars on the gray epaulet; she saw the stern

handsome face; she saw the dark tired eyes. And she knew. Even before he

spoke again, she knew--



"The same meteorite that damaged the ejection mechanism, ma'am. It

penetrated the capsule, too. We didn't find out till just a while

ago--but there was nothing we could have done anyway ... Are you all

right, ma'am?"



"Yes. I'm all right."



"I wanted to express my regrets personally. I know how you must feel."



"It's all right."



"We will, of course, make every effort to bring back his ... remains ...

so that he can have a fitting burial on Earth."



"No," she said.



"I beg your pardon, ma'am?"



She raised her eyes to the patch of sky where her son had passed in his

shining metal sarcophagus. Sirius blossomed there, blue-white and

beautiful. She raised her eyes still higher--and beheld the vast

parterre of Orion with its central motif of vivid forget-me-nots, its

far-flung blooms of Betelguese and Rigel, of Bellatrix and Saiph ... And

higher yet--and there flamed the exquisite flower beds of Taurus and

Gemini, there burgeoned the riotous wreath of the Crab; there lay the

pulsing petals of the Pleiades ... And down the ecliptic garden path,

wafted by a stellar breeze, drifted the ocher rose of Mars ...



"No," she said again.



The general had raised his eyes, too; now, slowly, he lowered them. "I

think I understand, ma'am. And I'm glad that's the way you want it ...

The stars are beautiful tonight, aren't they."



"More beautiful than they've ever been," she said.



* * * * *



After the general had gone, she looked up once more at the vast and

variegated garden of the sky where her son lay buried, then she turned

and walked slowly back to the memoried house.



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