We Didn't Do Anything Wrong Hardly
: We Didn't Do Anything Wrong, HardlyAfter all--they only borrowed it a little while, just to fix it--
I mean, it isn't like we swiped anything. We maybe borrowed a couple of
things, like. But, gee, we put everything back like we found it, pretty
near.
Even like the compressor we got from Stinky Brinker that his old man
wasn't using and I traded my outboard motor for, my old m ... my father
made me trade back. But
Skinny Thompson. He's the one you guys keep calling the boy genius, but
shucks, he's no ...
Well, yeah, it's like Skinny said, we didn't need an outboard motor, and
we did need a compressor. You've got to have a compressor on a
spaceship, everybody knows that. And that old compression chamber that
old man ... I mean Mr. Fields let us use didn't have a compressor.
Sure he said we could use it. Anyway he said we could play with it, and
Skinny said we were going to make a spaceship out of it, and he said go
ahead.
Well, no, he didn't say it exactly like that. I mean, well, like he
didn't take it serious, sort of.
Anyway, it made a swell spaceship. It had four portholes on it and an
air lock and real bunks in it and lots of room for all that stuff that
Skinny put in there. But it didn't have a compressor and that's why ...
What stuff? Oh, you know, the stuff that Skinny put in there. Like the
radar he made out of a TV set and the antigravity and the atomic power
plant he invented to run it all with.
He's awful smart, Skinny is, but he's not like what you think of a
genius. You know, he's not all the time using big words, and he doesn't
look like a genius. I mean, we call him Skinny 'cause he used to
be--Skinny.
But he isn't now, I mean he's maybe small for his age, anyway he's
smaller than me, and I'm the same age as he is. 'Course, I'm big for my
age, so that doesn't mean much, does it?
Well, I guess Stinker Brinker started it. He's always riding Skinny
about one thing or another, but Skinny never gets mad and it's a good
thing for Stinker, too. I saw Skinny clean up on a bunch of ninth
graders ... Well, a couple of them anyway. They were saying ... Well, I
guess I won't tell you what they were saying. Anyway, Skinny used judo,
I guess, because there wasn't much of a fight.
Anyway, Stinker said something about how he was going to be a rocket
pilot when he grew up, and I told him that Skinny had told me that there
wouldn't be any rockets, and that antigravity would be the thing as soon
as it was invented. So Stinker said it never would be invented, and I
said it would so, and he said it would not, and I said ...
Well, if you're going to keep interrupting me, how can I ...
All right. Anyway, Skinny broke into the argument and said that he could
prove mathematically that antigravity was possible, and Stinky said
suure he could, and Skinny said sure he could, and Stinky said suuure he
could, like that. Honestly, is that any way to argue? I mean it sounds
like two people agreeing, only Stinky keeps going suuure, like that, you
know? And Stinky, what does he know about mathematics? He's had to take
Remedial Arithmetic ever since ...
* * * * *
No, I don't understand how the antigravity works. Skinny told me, but it
was something about meson flow and stuff like that that I didn't
understand. The atomic power plant made more sense.
Where did we get what uranium? Gee, no, we couldn't afford uranium, so
Skinny invented a hydrogen fusion plant. Anyone can make hydrogen. You
just take zinc and sulfuric acid and ...
Deuterium? You mean like heavy hydrogen? No, Skinny said it would
probably work better, but like I said, we couldn't afford anything
fancy. As it was, Skinny had to pay five or six dollars for that special
square tubing in the antigravity, and the plastic space helmets we had
cost us ninety-eight cents each. And it cost a dollar and a half for
the special tube that Skinny needed to make the TV set into a radar.
You see, we didn't steal anything, really. It was mostly stuff that was
just lying around. Like the TV set was up in my attic, and the old
refrigerator that Skinny used the parts to make the atomic power plant
out of from. And then, a lot of the stuff we already had. Like the skin
diving suits we made into spacesuits and the vacuum pump that Skinny had
already and the generator.
Sure, we did a lot of skin diving, but that was last summer. That's how
we knew about old man Brinker's compressor that Stinky said was his and
I traded my outboard motor for and had to trade back. And that's how we
knew about Mr. Fields' old compression chamber, and all like that.
The rocket? Well, it works on the same principle as the atomic power
plant, only it doesn't work except in a vacuum, hardly. Course you don't
need much of a rocket when you have antigravity. Everyone knows that.
Well, anyway, that's how we built the spaceship, and believe me, it
wasn't easy. I mean with Stinky all the time bothering us and laughing
at us. And I had to do a lot of lawn mowing to get money for the square
tubing for the antigravity and the special tube for the radar, and my
space helmet.
Stinky called the space helmets kid stuff. He was always saying things
like say hello to the folks on Mars for me, and bring back a bottle of
canal number five, and all like that, you know. Course, they did look
like kid stuff, I guess. We bought them at the five-and-dime, and they
were meant for kids. Of course when Skinny got through with them, they
worked fine.
We tested them in the air lock of the compression chamber when we got
the compressor in. They tested out pretty good for a half-hour, then we
tried them on in there. Well, it wasn't a complete vacuum, just
twenty-seven inches of mercury, but that was O.K. for a test.
So anyway, we got ready to take off. Stinky was there to watch, of
course. He was saying things like, farewell, O brave pioneers, and stuff
like that. I mean it was enough to make you sick.
He was standing there laughing and singing something like up in the air
junior birdmen, but when we closed the air-lock door, we couldn't hear
him. Skinny started up the atomic power plant, and we could see Stinky
laughing fit to kill. It takes a couple of minutes for it to warm up,
you know. So Stinky started throwing rocks to attract our attention, and
Skinny was scared that he'd crack a porthole or something, so he threw
the switch and we took off.
Boy, you should of seen Stinky's face. I mean you really should of seen
it. One minute he was laughing you know, and the next minute he looked
like a goldfish. I guess he always did look like a goldfish, but I mean
even more like, then. And he was getting smaller and smaller, because we
had taken off.
* * * * *
We were gone pretty near six hours, and it's a good thing my Mom made me
take a lunch. Sure, I told her where we were going. Well ... anyway I
told her we were maybe going to fly around the world in Skinny and my
spaceship, or maybe go down to Carson's pond. And she made me take a
lunch and made me promise I wouldn't go swimming alone, and I sure
didn't.
But we did go around the world three or four times. I lost count. Anyway
that's when we saw the satellite--on radar. So Skinny pulled the
spaceship over to it and we got out and looked at it. The spacesuits
worked fine, too.
Gosh no, we didn't steal it or anything. Like Skinny said, it was just a
menace to navigation, and the batteries were dead, and it wasn't working
right anyway. So we tied it onto the spaceship and took it home. No, we
had to tie it on top, it was too big to take inside with the antennas
sticking out. Course, we found out how to fold them later.
Well, anyway the next day, the Russians started squawking about a
capitalist plot, and someone had swiped their satellite. Gee, I mean
with all the satellites up there, who'd miss just one?
So I got worried that they'd find out that we took it. Course, I didn't
need to worry, because Stinky told them all right, just like a
tattletale.
So anyway, after Skinny got the batteries recharged, we put it back. And
then when we landed there were hundreds of people standing around, and
Mr. Anderson from the State Department. I guess you know the rest.
Except maybe Mr. Anderson started laughing when we told him, and he said
it was the best joke on the Russians he ever heard.
I guess it is when you think about it. I mean, the Russians complaining
about somebody swiping their satellite and then the State Department
answering a couple of kids borrowed it, but they put it back.
One thing that bothers me though, we didn't put it back exactly the way
we found it. But I guess it doesn't matter. You see, when we put it
back, we goofed a little. I mean, we put it back in the same orbit, more
or less, but we got it going in the wrong direction.
More
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Turning The Tables
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It was now exactly six o'clock in the evening. The Sun, completely clear of all contact with the lunar disc, steeped the whole Projectile in his golden rays. The travellers, vertically over the Moon's south pole, were, as Barbican soon ascertained... Tycho
At six in the evening the projectile passed the south pole at less than forty miles off, a distance equal to that already reached at the north pole. The elliptical curve was being rigidly carried out. At this moment the travelers once more ent... Tydomin
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As Carthoris, Xodar, Tars Tarkas, and I stood gazing at the magnificent vessel which meant so much to all of us, we saw a second and then a third top the summit of the hills and glide gracefully after their sister. Now a score of one-man air sc... Under Foot
In the first book I have wandered so much from my own adventures to tell of the experiences of my brother that all through the last two chapters I and the curate have been lurking in the empty house at Halliford whither we fled to escape the ... Under The Mountains
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WHEN our dazzled gaze grew accustomed to the garish blaze of lights we found ourselves standing in an enormous cavern. Around us were glowing fires and shining torches innumerable; the smoke from them half choked us, while above there seemed an ... Unthinkable
If Nature suddenly began to behave differently, what we consider obvious and elementary today might become--unthinkable. In the story THE DESPOILERS in the October 1947 Amazing Stories I raised the question, "Is there anything abso... Upstarts
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The astronomical, mechanical, and topographical difficulties resolved, finally came the question of finance. The sum required was far too great for any individual, or even any single State, to provide the requisite millions. President Barbican... Vanikoro
This terrible spectacle was the forerunner of the series of maritime catastrophes that the Nautilus was destined to meet with in its route. As long as it went through more frequented waters, we often saw the hulls of shipwrecked vessels that were ro... Venus In Perilous Proximity
The light of the returning sun soon extinguished the glory of the stars, and rendered it necessary for the captain to postpone his observations. He had sought in vain for further trace of the huge disc that had so excited his wonder on the 1st, an... Vertical Descent
Now began our real journey. Hitherto our toil had overcome all difficulties, now difficulties would spring up at every step. I had not yet ventured to look down the bottomless pit into which I was about to take a plunge The supreme hour had come. ... Victory
It seemed Earth was a rich, and undefended planet in a warring, hating galaxy. Things can be deceptive though; children playing can be quite rough--but that ain't war, friend! I From above came the sound of men singing. Captain Duke O'Nei... Victory
I had gone five miles, and had paused for a moment, half way up the slope of the valley to get my bearings, when a figure came hurtling through the air from behind, and landed lightly at my side. It was Wilma. "I put Bill Hearn in command and f... Victory And Defeat
"John Carter, John Carter," she sobbed, with her dear head upon my shoulder; "even now I can scarce believe the witness of my own eyes. When the girl, Thuvia, told me that you had returned to Barsoom, I listened, but I could not understand, for it... Vigo Bay
The Atlantic! a vast sheet of water whose superficial area covers twenty-five millions of square miles, the length of which is nine thousand miles, with a mean breadth of two thousand seven hundred--an ocean whose parallel winding shores embrace an ... Vigorish
If it "takes a thief to catch a thief" ... what does it take to catch a psi-gifted thief? What do you hate and fear the most? I know a girl who gags and throws up at the mere sight of a bird. Poor kid, when she was a bar... Vital Ingredient
"Champ, what's with ya lately?" Benny asked the question as they lay on the beach. "Nothing," Frankie answered. "Just fight-nite miseries, I guess." "No it ain't, Frankie. It's something else. You losin' confidence in Milt? That it? Can't you... Vortex Blaster
Author of "The Skylark," "Skylark Three," "The Skylark of Valeron," the Lensman stories, etc. Safety devices that do not protect. The "unsinkable" ships that, before the days of Bergenholm and of atomic and cosmic ener... Voyaging To Another World
During each waking period, Barrow spent many hours in the room with the miniature domes. They were beautiful models, which could be opened or moved as desired, by small levers on the foundation. Wires as fine as hairs were strung from one spot to ... Waiting For Doom
This was the all-important news which the inhabitants of every town which possessed a well-informed newspaper read the next morning. It was, in the more important of them, followed by digests of the calculations which had made this terrific result... Want Of Air
Thus around the Nautilus, above and below, was an impenetrable wall of ice. We were prisoners to the iceberg. I watched the Captain. His countenance had resumed its habitual imperturbability. "Gentlemen," he said calmly, "there are two ways of ... Wanted: A Steelyard
Under the still diminishing influence of the sun's attraction, but without let or hindrance, Gallia continued its interplanetary course, accompanied by Nerina, its captured satellite, which performed its fortnightly revolutions with unvarying regu... War
TWELVE days later I found myself accompanying Kona who, at the head of a great force of over eighteen thousand men, was crossing the treacherous quicksands by the Way of the Thousand Steps. The critical position of Mo had been fully discussed by O... Watch The Sky
It's one thing to try to get away with what you believe to be a lie and be caught at it-- and something different, and far worse sometimes, to find it isn't a lie ... Uncle William Boles' war-battered old Geest gun gave the impression t... Water Where Is It? A Bitter Disappointment
During a long, long, weary hour, there crossed my wildly delirious brain all sorts of reasons as to what could have aroused our quiet and faithful guide. The most absurd and ridiculous ideas passed through my head, each more impossible than the ot... We Approach The Moon-a Magnificent Spectacle
When we had finished our supper John remarked, "Professor, I am a little mystified in regard to our present position. We have started on a voyage to Mars, but up to the present I have not seen even a glimpse of the planet to-night. How is tha... We Are Mysteriously Prevented From Approaching Mars
The days then passed uneventfully until at last the long-looked-for day arrived, and on the 24th September we were so close to Mars that we hoped to be able to land on the planet by two o'clock in the afternoon. We made ourselves a little spr... We Arrive On Mars And Meet With A Startling Surprise
On hearing my excited exclamation, John and M'Allister at once stepped on to the platform and, having looked down, were as much surprised as I was, for lo! we were heading direct for the very spot which I had previously told them it was my fa... We Attend A Martian Banquet
On our arrival at the banqueting-hall we were most cordially received by Soranho, as Chief of the Council, who introduced us to a number of persons, several of whom were high officers of state; but, as only two or three of them knew anything ... We Continue Our Descent
At eight o'clock the next morning, a faint kind of dawn of day awoke us. The thousand and one prisms of the lava collected the light as it passed and brought it to us like a shower of sparks. We were able with ease to see objects around us. "... We Didn't Do Anything Wrong Hardly
After all--they only borrowed it a little while, just to fix it-- I mean, it isn't like we swiped anything. We maybe borrowed a couple of things, like. But, gee, we put everything back like we found it, pretty near. E... We Learn Something About The Powers Of The Martians
The next morning Merna arrived early, and breakfasted with us; and, as soon as the meal was over, we started out. The air was bracing and exhilarating, and we felt so extremely light and buoyant that we almost seemed to want to run, skip, and... We Plan Escape
The remainder of our journey to Thark was uneventful. We were twenty days upon the road, crossing two sea bottoms and passing through or around a number of ruined cities, mostly smaller than Korad. Twice we crossed the famous Martian waterways, ... We Reach Mount Sneffels The Reykir
Stapi is a town consisting of thirty huts, built on a large plain of lava, exposed to the rays of the sun, reflected from the volcano. It stretches its humble tenements along the end of a little fjord, surrounded by a basaltic wall of the most sin... We Resume Our Voyage-the Sun And The Sky As Seen From Space
All the time the Areonal had been near the moon some of our machines were storing up fresh power, and we had accumulated a supply amply sufficient to meet any extra requirements in the event of our arrival upon Mars being unduly delayed. ... We Sink The Ground Ships
Boss Handan, of the Winslows, a giant of a man, a two-fisted fighter and a leader of great sagacity, had been selected by the council as our Boss pro tem, and having given the scatter signal to the council, he retired to our general headquarters, ... We Start On A Very Long Voyage
"Well, I suppose it is about time to get ready for starting?" The speaker was a smart, well-set-up man about forty-three years of age, whose keen and alert expression, clear eyes and well-cut features were a true index to the intellectuali... We Start On The Journey
"You see, the whole island is composed of volcanoes," said the Professor, "and remark carefully that they all bear the name of Yocul. The word is Icelandic, and means a glacier. In most of the lofty mountains of that region the volcanic eruptions ... We View The Lunar Scenery In The Northern Hemisphere
"Now, Professor," exclaimed M'Allister, jumping up with a shrug of the shoulders, "you've given our friend John a considerable amount of information on a wee bit dry subject, so, mayhap, you will now give us something more interesting, and go... We Visit The Canals And Discover Their Secret-martian Views Of Life And Death
On Merna's suggestion we walked through the town with the object of inspecting the canals on the outskirts; and we needed no pressing, as we were all eager to see what the canals were like. We again noted how every house, and almost every ... We Witness Some Wonderful Aerial Evolutions And Listen To Marvellous Music
Wherever we went we found new subjects for wonder and admiration, and fresh proofs of the high state of civilisation and development attained by the Martians. We had seen many evidences of their genius in engineering and mechanical undertakin... We'll Race You For It
Mr. Swift hurried up on deck. He was accompanied by Captain Weston. At the sight of Tom's father, Mr. Berg, who had been joined by' two other men, called out: "You see we also concluded to give up the trial for the Government prize, Mr. Swift. ... What Had Happened In Surrey
It was while the curate had sat and talked so wildly to me under the hedge in the flat meadows near Halliford, and while my brother was watching the fugitives stream over Westminster Bridge, that the Martians had resumed the offensive. So fa... What Happened In The Mountains
If I speak of myself in this story, it is because I have been deeply involved in its startling events, events doubtless among the most extraordinary which this twentieth century will witness. Sometimes I even ask myself if all this has really ... What Happened Upon Our Return Home
ADDENDUM (Written by John Yiewsley Claxton, Esq., of Norbury, in the County Borough of Croydon, Surrey) In accordance with the desire of my old friend, Wilfrid Poynders, I am now about to publish the book which was handed to me by Mer... What I Saw Of The Destruction Of Weybridge And Shepperton
As the dawn grew brighter we withdrew from the window from which we had watched the Martians, and went very quietly downstairs. The artilleryman agreed with me that the house was no place to stay in. He proposed, he said, to make his way ... What Is In A Name!-the Story Of Merna
Yes, this glorious being was indeed the son whom I had lost on the earth! It would be utterly impossible for me to describe the pathos and affection of that meeting with one whom I thought had passed for ever out of my present life, or the in... What Is It?
For a long and weary hour we tramped over this great bed of bones. We advanced regardless of everything, drawn on by ardent curiosity. What other marvels did this great cavern contain what other wondrous treasures for the scientific man? My eyes w... What Is On Mars?
"I only wish you would come along with me," replied the doctor. "I have no idea what intelligent, educated person I can persuade to accompany me, unless he is given an interest in the discoveries. You are the person most interested in the enterpri... What The Left Hand Was Doing
There is no lie so totally convincing as something the other fellow already knows-for-sure is the truth. And no cover-story so convincing.... The building itself was unprepossessive enough. It was an old-fashioned, six-floor, brick structure ... What We Saw From The Ruined House
After eating we crept back to the scullery, and there I must have dozed again, for when presently I looked round I was alone. The thudding vibration continued with wearisome persistence. I whispered for the curate several times, and at last... When Hell Broke Loose
Early the next morning Xodar and I commenced work upon our plans for escape. First I had him sketch upon the stone floor of our cell as accurate a map of the south polar regions as was possible with the crude instruments at our disposal--a buckle... Who Is Hilderman?
I must admit that I was so delighted to find that Myra had recovered her sight that I very nearly made what might have been a very serious mistake. I gave a loud shout of triumph and made a dive for the light, intending to switch it on. This might... Why Mars Gives A Red Light
Our telescope was now pointed exactly at Mars, and we were observing every feature as we approached him. Compared with the illuminated crescent of the Earth, which we had studied when we were observing the Andes, our present view was infinitely va... Wild Animals
When the ancients departed, great numbers of their cattle perished. It was not so much the want of food as the inability to endure exposure that caused their death; a few winters are related to have so reduced them that they died by hundreds, many... Winter Quarters
The habitation that had now revealed itself, well lighted and thoroughly warm, was indeed marvelous. Not only would it afford ample accommodation for Hector Servadac and "his subjects," as Ben Zoof delighted to call them, but it would provide shel... With Dejah Thoris
As we reached the open the two female guards who had been detailed to watch over Dejah Thoris hurried up and made as though to assume custody of her once more. The poor child shrank against me and I felt her two little hands fold tightly over my ... With The Yellow Men
Thuvan Dihn was not long in joining me; and, though we found the hooked weapon a strange and savage thing with which to deal, the three of us soon despatched the five black-bearded warriors who opposed us. When the battle was over our new acqua... Within The Red Veil
Nevia, the home planet of the marauding space-ship, would have appeared peculiar indeed to Terrestrial senses. High in the deep red heavens a fervent blue sun poured down its flood of brilliant purplish light upon a world of water. Not a cloud was... Woman Locates The North Pole
Silver Cloud hastened on with the favoring gale from the balmy South. By noon the coast of Franz Joseph Land could be seen. They were now near the eightieth degree of latitude. During the afternoon they crossed that land of eternal winter. Monoton... Words Of Fire
RAISING our eyes from the straight narrow path whereon we set our feet in the footprints of those before us, we halted and looked eagerly ahead. We had come to the edge of what seemed a shallow depression, and already Omar had disappeared from v... Worm Submarine And Freedom
Since both Costigan and Bradley had often watched their captors at work during the long voyage from the Solar System to Nevia, they were quite familiar with the machine tools of the amphibians. Their stolen lifeboat, being an emergency craft, of c... Wreckage
And now comes the strangest thing in my story. Yet, perhaps, it is not altogether strange. I remember, clearly and coldly and vividly, all that I did that day until the time that I stood weeping and praising God upon the summit of Primrose ... Yet Three Days
Esmay sat in the gardens at Arcadia House. It was the loveliest of spring days, and there were blossoms everywhere--the vivid pink of the Judas-tree, the white glory of the dogwood, and each Forsythia bush a cascade of golden foam. It was all so b... Yolara Of Muria Vs The O'keefe
I awakened with all the familiar, homely sensation of a shade having been pulled up in a darkened room. I thrilled with a wonderful sense of deep rest and restored resiliency. The ebon shadow had vanished from above and down into the room was pourin... Yolara Priestess Of The Shining One
"You'd better have this handy, Doc." O'Keefe paused at the head of the stairway and handed me one of the automatics he had taken from Marakinoff. "Shall I not have one also?" rather anxiously asked the latter. "When you need it you'll get it," ...