The Tale Of A Cigarette

: Hopalong Cassidy's Rustler Round-up

The open door revealed three men asleep on the earthen floor, two of

whom were Mexicans. Mr. Cassidy then for the first time felt called

upon to relieve his companion of the Colt's which so sorely itched

that gentleman's thigh and then disarmed the sleeping guards.



"One man an' a half," murmured Mr. Cassidy, it being in his creed

that it took four Mexicans to make one Texan.



In the far corn
r of the room were two bronchos, one of which tried

in vain to kick Mr. Cassidy, not realizing that he was ten feet away.

The noise awakened the sleepers, who sat up and then sprang to their

feet, their hands instinctively streaking to their thighs for the

weapons which peeked contentedly from the bosom of Mr. Cassidy's open

shirt. One of the Mexicans made a lightning-like grab for the back of

his neck for the knife which lay along his spine and was shot in the

front of his neck for his trouble. The shot spoiled his aim, as the

knife flashed past Mr. Cassidy's arm, wide by two feet, and thudded

into the door frame, where it hummed angrily.



"The only man who could do that right was th' man who invented it,

Mr. Bowie, of Texas," explained Mr. Cassidy to the other Mexican. Then

he glanced at the broncho, that was squealing in rage and fear at the

shot, which sounded like a cannon in the small room, and laughed.



"That's my cayuse, all right, an' he wasn't up no cactus nor

roostin' on th' roof, neither. He's th' most affectionate beast I ever

saw. It took me nigh onto six months afore I could ride him without

fighting him to a standstill," said Mr. Cassidy to his guest. Then he

turned to the horse and looked it over. "Come here! What d'yu mean,

acting thataway? Yu ragged end of nothin' wobbling in space! Yu wall-

eyed, ornery, locoed guide to Hades! Yu won't be so frisky when yu've

made them seventy hot miles between here an' Alkaline in five hours,"

he promised, as he made his way toward the animal.



Mr. Travennes walked over to the opposite wall and took down a pouch

of tobacco which hung from a peg. He did this in a manner suggesting

ownership, and after he had deftly rolled a cigarette with one hand he

put the pouch in his pocket and, lighting up, inhaled deeply and with

much satisfaction. Mr. Cassidy turned around and glanced the group

over, wondering if the tobacco had been left in the hut on a former

call.



"Did yu find yore makings?" He asked, with a note of congratulations

in his voice.



"Yep. Want one?" Asked Mr. Travennes.



Mr. Cassidy ignored the offer and turned to the guard whom he had

found asleep.



"Is that his tobacco?" He asked, and the guard, anxious to make

everything run smoothly, told the truth and answered:



"Shore. He left it here last night," whereupon Mr. Travennes swore

and Mr. Cassidy smiled grimly.



"Then yu knows how yore cayuse got in an' how mine got out," said

the latter. "I wish yu would explain," he added, fondling his Colts.



Mr. Travennes frowned and remained silent.



"I can tell yu, anyhow," continued Mr. Cassidy, still smiling, but

his eyes and jaw belied the smile. "Yu took them cayuses out because

yu wanted yourn to be found in their places. Yu remembered Santa Fe

an' it rankled in yu. Not being man enough to notify me that yu'd

shoot on sight an' being afraid my friends would get yu if yu plugged

me on th' sly, yu tried to make out that me an' Red rustled yore

cayuses. That meant a lynching with me an' Red in th' places of honor.

Yu never saw Red afore, but yu didn't care if he went with me. Yu

don't deserve fair play, but I'm going to give it to yu because I

don't want anybody to say that any of th' Bar-20 ever murdered a man,

not even a skunk like yu.



My friends have treated me too square for that. Yu can take this gun

an yu can do one of three things with it, which are: walk out in th' open

a hundred paces an' then turn an walk toward me-after you face me yu

can set it a-going whenever yu want to; the second is, put it under yore

hat an' I'll put mine an' th' others back by the cayuses. Then we'll toss up

an' th' lucky man gets it to use as he wants. Th' third is, shoot yourself."



Mr. Cassidy punctuated the close of his ultimatum by handing the

weapon, muzzle first, and, because the other might be an adept at

"twirling," he kept its recipient covered during the operation. Then,

placing his second Colt's with the captured weapons, he threw them

through the door, being very careful not to lose the drop on his now

armed prisoner.



Mr. Travennes looked around and wiped the sweat from his forehead,

and being an observant gentleman, took the proffered weapon and walked

to the east, directly toward the sun, which at this time was halfway

to the meridian. The glare of its straight rays and those reflected

from the shining sand would, in a measure, bother Mr. Cassidy and

interfere with the accuracy of his aim, and he was always thankful for

small favors.



Mr. Travennes was the possessor of accurate knowledge regarding the

lay of the land, and the thought came to him that there was a small

but deep hole out toward the east and that it was about the required

distance away. This had been dug by a man who had labored all day in

the burning sun to make an oven so that he could cook mesquite root in

the manner he had seen the Apaches cook it. Mr. Travennes blessed

hobbies, specific and general, stumbled thoughtlessly and disappeared

from sight as the surprised Mr. Cassidy started forward to offer his

assistance.



Upon emphatic notification from the man in the hole that

his help was not needed, Mr. Cassidy wheeled around and in great haste

covered the distance separating him from the hut, whereupon Mr.

Travennes swore in self-congratulation and regret. Mr. Cassidy's shots

barked a cactus which leaned near Mr. Travennes' head and flecked

several clouds of alkali near that person's nose, causing him to

sneeze, duck, and grin.



"It's his own gun," grumbled Mr. Cassidy as a bullet passed through

his sombrero, having in mind the fact that his opponent had a whole

belt full of .44'S. If it had been Mr. Cassidy's gun that had been

handed over he would have enjoyed the joke on Mr. Travennes, who would

have had five cartridges between himself and the promised eternity, as

be would have been unable to use the .44'S in Mr. Cassidy's .45, while

the latter would have gladly consented to the change, having as he did

an extra .45. Never before had Mr. Cassidy looked with reproach upon

his .45 caliber Colt's, and he sighed as he used it to notify Mr.

Travennes that arbitration was not to be considered, which that person

indorsed, said indorsement passing so close to Mr. Cassidy's ear that

he felt the breeze made by it.



"He's been practicin' since I plugged him up in Santa Fe," thought

Mr. Cassidy, as he retired around the hut to formulate a plan of

campaign.



Mr. Travennes sang "Hi-le, hi-lo," and other selections, principally

others, and wondered how Mr. Cassidy could hoist him out. The slack of

his belt informed him that he was in the middle of a fast, and

suggested starvation as the derrick that his honorable and disgusted

adversary might employ.



Mr. Cassidy, while figuring out his method of procedure, absent-

mindedly jabbed a finger in his eye, and the ensuing tears floated an

idea to him. He had always had great respect for ricochet shots since

his friend Skinny Thompson had proved their worth on the hides of

Sioux. If he could disturb the sand and convey several grains of it to

Mr. Travennes' eyes the game would be much simplified. While planning

for the proposed excavation, a la Colt's, he noticed several stones

lying near at hand, and a new and better scheme presented itself for

his consideration. If Mr. Travennes could be persuaded to get out of-

well, it was worth trying.



Mr. Cassidy lined up his gloomy collection and tersely ordered them

to turn their backs to him and to stay in that position, the

suggestion being that if they looked around they wouldn't be able to

dodge quickly enough. He then slipped bits of his lariat over their

wrists and ankles, tying wrists to ankles and each man to his

neighbor. That finished to his satisfaction, he dragged them in the

hut to save them from the burning rays of the sun.



Having performed this act of kindness, he crept along the hot sand,

taking advantage of every bit of cover afforded, and at last he

reached a point within a hundred feet of the besieged. During the trip

Mr. Travennes sang to his heart's content, some of the words being

improvised for the occasion and were not calculated to increase Mr.

Cassidy's respect for his own wisdom if he should hear them. Mr.

Cassidy heard, however, and several fragments so forcibly intruded on

his peace of mind that he determined to put on the last verse himself

and to suit himself.



Suddenly Mr. Travennes poked his head up and glanced at the hut. He

was down again so quickly that there was no chance for a shot at him

and he believed that his enemy was still sojourning in the rear of the

building, which caused him to fear that he was expected to live on

nothing as long as he could and then give himself up. Just to show his

defiance he stretched himself out on his back and sang with all his

might, his sombrero over his face to keep the glare of the sun out of

his eyes.



He was interrupted, however, forgot to finish a verse as he

had intended, and jumped to one side as a stone bounced off his leg.

Looking up, he saw another missile curve into his patch of sky and

swiftly bear down on him. He avoided it by a hair's breadth and

wondered what had happened. Then what Mr. Travennes thought was a

balloon, being unsophisticated in matters pertaining to aerial

navigation, swooped down upon him and smote him on the shoulder and

also bounced off.



Mr. Travennes hastily laid music aside and took up

elocution as he dodged another stone and wished that the mesquite-

loving crank had put on a roof. In evading the projectile he let his

sombrero appear on a level with the desert, and the hum of a bullet as

it passed through his head-gear and into the opposite wall made him

wish that there had been constructed a cellar, also.



"Hi-le, hi-lo" intruded upon his ear, as Mr. Cassidy got rid of the

surplus of his heart's joy. Another stone the size of a man's foot

shaved Mr. Travennes' ear and he hugged the side of the hole nearest

his enemy.



"Hibernate, blank yu!" derisively shouted the human catapult as he

released a chunk of sandstone the size of a quail. "Draw in yore laigs

an' buck," was his God-speed to the missile.



"Hey, yu!" indignantly yowled Mr. Travennes from his defective storm

cellar. "Don't yu know any better'n to heave things thataway?"



"Hi-le, hi-lo," sang Mr. Cassidy, as another stone soared aloft in

the direction of the complainant. Then he stood erect and awaited

results with a Colt's in his hand leveled at the rim of the hole. A

hat waved and an excited voice bit off chunks of expostulation and

asked for an armistice. Then two hands shot up and Mr. Travennes, sore

and disgusted and desperate, popped his head up an blinked at Mr.

Cassidy's gun.



"Yu was fillin' th' hole up," remarked Mr. Travennes in an accusing

tone, hiding the real reason for his evacuation. "In a little while

I'd a been th' top of a pile instead of th' bottom of a hole," he

announced, crawling out and rubbing his head.



Mr. Cassidy grinned and ordered his prisoner to one side while be

secured the weapon which lay in the hole. Having obtained it as

quickly as possible be slid it in his open shirt and clambered out

again.



"Yu remind me of a feller I used to know," remarked Mr. Travennes,

as he led the way to the hut, trying not to limp. "Only he throwed

dynamite. That was th' way he cleared off chaparral-blowed it off. He

got so used to heaving away everything he lit that he spoiled three

pipes in two days."



Mr. Cassidy laughed at the fiction and then became grave as he

pictured Mr. Connors sitting on the rock and facing down a line of

men, any one of whom was capable of his destruction if given the

interval of a second.



When they arrived at the hut Mr. Cassidy observed that the prisoners

had moved considerably. There was a cleanly swept



trail four yards long where they had dragged themselves, and they

sat in the end nearer the guns. Mr. Cassidy smiled and fired close to

the Mexican's ear, who lost in one frightened jump a little of what he

had so laboriously gained.



"Yu'll wear out yore pants," said Mr. Cassidy, and then added

grimly, "an' my patience."



Mr. Travennes smiled and thought of the man who so ably seconded Mr.

Cassidy's efforts and who was probably shot by this time. The outfit

of the Bar-20 was so well known throughout the land that he was aware

the name of the other was Red Connors. An unreasoning streak of

sarcasm swept over him and he could not resist the opportunity to get

in a stab at his captor.



"Mebby yore pard has wore out somebody's patience, too," said Mr.

Travennes, suggestively and with venom.



His captor wheeled toward him, his face white with passion, and Mr.

Travennes shrank back and regretted the words.



"I ain't shootin' dogs this here trip," said Mr. Cassidy, trembling

with scorn and anger, "so yu can pull yourself together. I'll give yu

another chance, but yu wants to hope almighty hard that Red is O. K.

If he ain't, I'll blow yu so many ways at once that if yu sprouts

yu'll make a good acre of weeds. If he is all right yu'd better

vamoose this range, for there won't be no hole for yu to crawl into

next time. What friends yu have left will have to tote yu off an'

plant yu," he finished with emphasis. He drove the horses outside,

and, after severing the bonds on his prisoners, lined them up.



"Yu," he began, indicating all but Mr. Travennes, "yu amble right

smart toward Canada," pointing to the north. "Keep a-going till yu

gets far enough away so a Colt won't find yu." Here he grinned with

delight as he saw his Sharp's rifle in its sheath on his saddle and,

drawing it forth, he put away his Colts and glanced at the trio, who

were already industriously plodding northward. "Hey!" he shouted, and

when they sullenly turned to see what new idea he had found he

gleefully waved his rifle at them and warned them further: "This is a

Sharp's an' it's good for half a mile, so don't stop none too soon.



Having sent them directly away from their friends so they could not

have him "potted" on the way back, he mounted his broncho and

indicated to Mr. Travennes that he, too, was to ride, watching that

that person did not make use of the Winchester which Mr. Connors was

foolish enough to carry around on his saddle. Winchesters were Mr.

Cassidy's pet aversion and Mr. Connors' most prized possession, this

difference of opinion having upon many occasions caused hasty words

between them. Mr. Connors, being better with his Winchester than Mr.

Cassidy was with his Sharp's, had frequently proved that his choice

was the wiser, but Mr. Cassidy was loyal to the Sharp's and refused to

be convinced. Now, however, the Winchester became pregnant with

possibilities and, therefore, Mr. Travennes rode a few yards to the

left and in advance, where the rifle was in plain sight, hanging as it

did on the right of Mr. Connors' saddle, which Mr. Travennes graced so

well.



The journey back to town was made in good time and when they came to

the buildings Mr. Cassidy dismounted and bade his companion do

likewise, there being too many corners that a fleeing rider could take

advantage of. Mr. Travennes felt of his bumps and did so, wishing hard

things about Mr. Cassidy.



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